19-36 Months: How Children Learn and Develop
Toddlers at this age are developing independence and gaining a strong sense of self-identity. More and more, they insist on working on tasks by themselves and having control over their environment.
They have a growing interest in books, art, toys, and other activities. They are better at communicating and understanding the world around them.
Relationships with us are the foundation for a child's lifelong mental health 
The foundation for mental health is strong social-emotional development, which adults can actively support.
Help children understand their feelings
Toddlers begin to experience more complex emotions like embarrassment, excitement, and pride. Use simple words to label what they may be feeling and talk about how others feel, too.
Support your toddler’s growing skills
Encourage independent exploration while keeping the environment safe. Be a supportive partner—cheer on their efforts, not just the final result. For example: “You worked so hard to fit those puzzle pieces!”
Teach healthy conflict resolution
Toddlers are still developing self-control, patience, sharing skills, and impulse control. They need our guidance! Play turn-taking games to introduce sharing.
How children this age think, learn and interact
19-36 Months | How They Think and Learn
Source: Colorado Early Learning & Development Guidelines, EarlyLearningCO.org
Tips to Support Your Child's Healthy Development
- Provide chances to play with other kids, including kids from different cultures and ethnicities
- Offer toys that encourage imagination and role play (play kitchen, dress-up clothes, etc.)
- Use words to help them learn to share and take turns: “I’m going to share this car with you so you can play, too”
- Encourage them when they share or take turns: “You gave Adam a block to play with – that was so nice”
- Talk with them about rules, limits, and choices and why they are important
- Help them identify their features like hair color, gender, size, etc.
- Allow them time to do things for themselves and encourage them: “If you want help, I am here”
- Use words to talk about your feelings, the child’s feelings, and others’ feelings
- Look at pictures of people showing emotions and help children identify the feelings
- Always respond calmly. Emotions can be overwhelming to children, and your calm response helps them calm down
Challenging Behavior & Positive Discipline
Challenging behavior is common and every parent should expect it from birth to (at least) age three. This is because young children are just beginning to develop self-control. They have a hard time controlling their impulses and managing strong emotions.
Children this age are just starting to learn the skills they need to calm themselves down when they become upset. This can lead to some hard moments — for adults and kids!
If you are struggling with challenging behavior like temper tantrums, biting or defiance, there are lots of great informational resources to support you as well as parenting support programs in our community.
This page has excellent information on why toddlers throw tantrums, and what you can do to prevent and respond to your toddler’s challenging behavior.
More Resources for Parents & Caregivers of children 19-36 Months
Lifelong Mental Health Begins at Birth!
Strong social-emotional skills are part of the foundation for lifelong mental health. As adults, it’s our job to help children develop these skills.
Parenting Tips by Text
Lantern sends messages with tips and activities for caregivers of children that are targeted to your child’s age. Messages include information on development, health and safety, behavior, and more.
Activities to Build Your Child's Brain!
Vroom Tips are fun activities that turn everyday moments into opportunities to build your child’s brain. You can receive Vroom Tips via the app, text message, email or social media.
